Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Best friend

Anu got married today.. my best friend. And I am so selfish that instead of feeling happy about her marriage, I am sad that she has gone away from me. And sad to such an extent that while going to the office, I was weeping in the bus. Moreover, I was just never used to of sharing her with anybody and now she'll be thinking most about her husband. He'll be her closest friend. She'll be sharing all her secrets with him, will be depending on his advices and will be granting him the most of her time. He'll take my place. It feels terrible, trust me.

I don't remember, since when I know her.. yes I do remember our first conversation and what I had felt about her.. but it seems at least an era has passed since then. She was such a wierd person and she still is. I used to run away from her for her senseless highly religious talks. Gradually, she got better and I got used to of that nonsense and we became freinds. I know she was always bewildered by listening to my idea of a dream life, she never understood what the heck I want to do with myself and why, but do I know anyone else, who respected those dreams more than her? She cherished them and took special care that they never get hurt because of her. And this is what that stole my heart.

Undoubtedly, she is my first and the longest ever friend. I am not a very social person and usually get out of touch with people easily. She is the same, yet we managed an over a decade long friendship! I am surprised. People say that the bond created when two people share each other's sorrow is the strongest. I think it is true. Anu and I understood each other's pain very well, may be because our pain was similar. Our lives started on a similar path and our choices brought us at two extremes. She now stands on the path that takes her into the protection of her family, she makes her choices based on their decisions and I stand on the bare front of being solely responsible for myself. She loved my guts thinking that she can't do that and I loved her contentment, thinking that I may never have it. We just complement each other. And whenever our respective selves tried to get influenced by the contrary emotions, creating turbulence in our mind and soul, we just surrendered before each other, finding solace in each other's company.

Interestingly, my mom is a better friend to Anu than me. Whenever she stayed with me for more than half an hour, the focus of conversation shifted to both of them and I was often spotted taking naps. They two will talk about the neighbourhood, relatives, maids, vendors, cost of fruits, how bad I am in keeping my room clean, global warming, the detriorating Indian culture and anything under the sun. She is a dentist, so Mom vividly used to share her worries with Anu regarding the remaining teeth left in her mouth. I am worried that mumma is going to miss her more.

Manjari has also got married last year; and she is an equally good friend; but at that time I did not feel so insecure and incomplete. May be, becasue I knew her husband very well and there was no doubt that our friendship is going to remain intact. But in case of Anu, I yet have to wait for the first conversation with her dear husband. Lets see how it goes. And although, he has suddenly become most important in her life, still I am the one, who is her best friend.