It seems to be a long time since I actually looked upon my own life and questioned how good or bad it has gone. In last one and a half year, it has changed and it has changed so much that I wonder if Cinderella pre and post July 2010 are basically the same people. But all in all.. it has gone good, because I still begin every single day with lots of enthusiasm and I am still full of all sorts of cranky jokes to make people feel miserable yet long for me!
I have become wise. I know it’s a big statement! But that’s true. Had I been someone else, I would have admired myself for all the dimensions of myself I have grown in all this time. For this, I gift myself one entire guilt-free dose of big chocolate!
Also, I always used to live under the impression that I can never be as good as my mom is.. NEVER EVER!! But recently, my brother said a nice thing – “you have become so much like Mom”. I know the entire replacement is not possible, or if it is, might take pretty much time; but then NEVER EVER is no more there. I resemble my role-model and people who have known me in and out could visibly identify the change.
Also, I have realized ‘moving on’ is the best thing one could do to oneself. Nothing actually stays forever! And it stands for every single thing! In all this time, I have moved on from so many things and all of them looked pretty impossible to be left, but then they all became history at one moment and what followed subsequently was certainly better. Moving on for all small and big issues! They make life easy and simple. Choosing what you want to have at that point and shedding off the not-required baggage. Of course, memories and occasional backward pull-ups remain there, but no one dies because of memories. They become much easier to live with, after moving on!
I have also learnt that you cannot change yourself how hard you try. You get pissed off with your own behavior and its repercussions and then comes a strong desire to change yourself and become someone else for the time being, in the hope that the new me could not be knocked down by any one. But this is a highly short-lived phase and you come back to your true self much sooner than you even realize. So, practically it is not a good idea to make efforts to change your intrinsic nature, because it demands quite a lot of effort and energy and the results are neither that encouraging nor proportionate. Plus, it often makes you feel like a fool.
Fear of fear is more fearful. Similarly, one that never happens hurts more than what has actually happened. What happens in reality is much more manageable and easier to handle compared to all that you have imagined to happen, but thankfully has never happened. In this scenario, it’s better to wait and watch and not imagine anything at all. Jab hoga tab dekha jayega situation!
Also, being a push-over is not a very bad thing. Hrithik Roshan prides in calling himself a pushover! It protects your peace of mind and keeps you alive for better things. Let people blabber to, for, or about you.. and don’t mind. They might or might not get cool about it.. but you keep your cool, of course, for your sake only!
This much for now… obviously, the posts like these have many sequels.. so would be back with more, soon!