A few minutes before the blasts happened, I was leaving from office for home, crossing streets, juggling with whirling traffic and immersing in innumerable thoughts, most of which had nothing to do with other most of the things in life. Alike me, thousands of other people were doing the same things, except that a few of them did not reach home, alike me. They died or reached hospitals; and here I am not counting road accidents as reasons, for the existence of which, the mankind has become dangerously indifferent; I am talking about serial bomb blasts, in crowded streets of a huge city at rush hours – a perfect recipe!
At this time, when I sit at home, while loads others are struggling to live, I feel hopeless and numb – because I have no idea, when I would be the victim – the one, who never reaches back home – the one, who remains awaited – the one, who doesn’t see the kids growing up – the one, who could not argue, fight, criticize, ridicule, or bully the world – the one, who gets counted as a part of ‘xx died’!
It’s so hard to digest the fact that on the same roads, my kids will be walking and I would not be accompanying them all the time. Why have I brought them here, in this world – amidst pain, sufferings and disappointments? People say there is not a bigger pain that burying your own kids! While I do not intend to compare the anguish of losing different relations, I could sense that the worst one of them is this. And, when this pain comes in the form of a shock, where the apple of your eye gets galloped by some sadistic, religious or social lunatic – gosh! This case is beyond understanding! Pure hell on earth for the ones, left behind!
A colleague, who recently lost his sister in a road accident, when saw me sitting tense over a professional issue, made a very sarcastic but true remark, “why take so much tension... you never know, when you will die!” His sentence kept resonating in my mind for days..you just do not know a bloody thing about accidents in life, as if death is roaming around openly and it has been your sheer luck till now that you did not face her yet!
Still, we forget the lessons and involve ourselves in all meaningless acts and thoughts. What do I know, when I will die. What will I do with this ego that does not let me express as much love as I must do, around myself? Would my tomorrow going to be any different than today – would I be more polite, loving and harmless than today – have I understood the lesson given by death, or I still think that life can never slip through my clutched fists – time will tell – or may be another blast!