Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Home coming is inevitably followed by some instances. One of them being, my involuntary discourse about religion, spirituality, reasoning of life's events and finally god. I have realised, all these four things mean differently, when I sit inside these particular four walls, I have spent my teens in.

Its almost 14 years now, when I started to 'feel' something about God and this does not include my primary education about different Indian deities prayed in my home's puja ghar. I got the chance of spending some time with people who believed in the spirituality of Godly essence and I immediately liked it, founding it very practical and meaningful. With less commitments for life, I dedicated my time in dwelling deeper into my beliefs and found myself that I am falling in love with this 'Godly' emotion. Somehow, I started feeling that something accompanies me all the time and the stay of it is pleasant for me. In fact, I even heard a noise once, when there was no one around for miles, assuring me that I must not worry and things will be fine.

Things did get fine. There were struggles, heart breaks, misunderstandings, tears and sorrows, but things did get fine and really well. After the episodes were over, when I looked back at all of them, I felt a certain attachment for my struggles also and felt that the journey towards happiness was totally unworthy without these sorrows. In fact, more than moments of shine, I love recalling all that I had to do to reach them. Those struggles made me confident, stronger and made me felt closer to the essence of spirituality. There were times, when going to temples was felt necessary and then there came times, when some lonely minutes at the washroom gave me the same strength. Literally, I found God every where.

But, with desires, come stress and first things that goes away quietly from us is the habit to look inside. When life reaches a state where the day seems to end as soon as it has begun, we get so occupied that we become clueless as to what to run and what to stop. Life comes on an auto-pilot, steered by situations more than our subconscious. Slowly, the source of our peace - the silent companion leaves us - and we take everything in our hands, the beginning of all our miseries.

Sometimes, the best you can do is to leave things on God. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, because we in our small world do not know what lies ahead. It may sound cowardice, but it is good to just pull your blanket, hide under it, read a small prayer asking for everything to be good for everyone and sleep as long you want - hours, days, weeks, or a life time. And who knows, soon you hear the pleasant flapping of wings that little angel, who has always accompanied you silently.