Saturday, May 10, 2014

For A. Kanjadiwal

Dear Kanjadi,

You have broken my heart! I have never told anyone about it, but I had a crush on you (solid wala) and that happened when you were not even a celebrity. You would not remember that; it was an evening in 2005 and you had come to IIT-Kanpur for some session. I had instantly liked your name. I used to dream about being a revolutionary (what.. I had just entered my twenties..) and you were one, working with farmers  and other downtrodden people of Rajasthan (or somewhere in India) for RTI. You were slowly becoming ‘visible’, qualifying you to be featured well in the Kanpur edition of a national newspaper. So, I came to interview you with dreamy eyes! Your rustic look, simple accent, easiness in switching from English to Hindi, concern about poor won my heart, and icing on cake – IIT degree! An IITian, not running behind money!

You were sitting in the front row of the smaller auditorium made in IIT-K on first floor, I was sitting on one of your sides and a dear friend on the other. I know, he too had a crush on you. We had same dreams of changing India and you were just so good to be an idol.

That evening when I came home, I brought a part of you with me. Not about how you looked (because you looked as cheap and idiotic then as you look now).. but of your simplicity and desire to work for society. Then, I moved ahead in my life and for good reasons completely forgot about you. In fact, I forgot about reading newspapers as well, let aside writing for them. Meanwhile, I met a lot of IITians and all of them disappointed me. The ratio of disappointing IITians to non-disappointing ones became so high that I satisfactorily deduced that they are arrogance and insensitivity personified – good enough only to create technical solutions and money. Sadly, you have topped the chart of those disappointees – AAP sabse bade wale nikale.

So, one day I found that you are now fighting for some Lokpal Bill. My lost love suddenly rekindled. With loads of enthusiasm, I told a couple of people that I have interviewed you personally and that you are here to ‘change’. Alas! You proved me right to every letter.

You kept the fast, I argued with people for you. You were canned, I argued more. You supported Anna, I supported him too. One day, you declared you want to leave the entire movement wherever it was, and join politics. I argued again. Not many people in this nation care what I feel, whoever small bit do, I left no stone unturned to make them believe that you are that flame of revolution, which our people have been waiting to come for thousands of years. You will fight for us, because of course we cannot fight for ourselves. Every time you said ‘you are amongst us’, we felt more comfortable in handling our share of responsibility to you and allotting our time to convincing people about your intentions and abilities. I cajoled my friends, family, colleagues, spouse and infant to believe that you are our kalki avatar, our dear kanjadiwal. My belief in your words was so strong that everything else was plain skeptic.

And then came that defining day of Delhi elections. I was freelancing for a news portal at that time when the results were pouring in. After every 15 min, I had to update the tally and my heart knew no bound as your numbers kept on increasing. In evening, when I was leaving from my shift, you had won 28 seats and trust me; I had tears in my eyes. I was elated and I prayed.. I thanked God for the miracle that came in the form of you. I thanked him for keeping our hopes alive! That goodness can win, even now.

That was the last moment, I could recall, when I felt warmth and admiration for you, because soon after you and your party started doing the thing, in UP we call, c******pa. Ah! Such babies you were. Went bonkers in first time only!

You got a blessing, most people do not even dream of. We, your blind followers, who later earned the name of AAPtards did not know a crucial thing - you were as incapable of running  a government, as most of us were incapable of running aircrafts; the only difference was we did not have to step into the cockpit to realize that.

You had no idea that you would win so many seats. People just loved you, not for the shitty face, voice, or language of yours, but for the dreams you made them see. They trusted you and gave you the only thing that they had in democracy to give you – their vote.

Being clueless, which we later discovered you eternally are, you launched one drama after another. You proved that you were totally and completely an aam adami. Somebody, with no idea about governance and administration but a specialist in ranting, opposing, disapproving and high talks – such an aam adami you are.

You were be fooling us wonderfully, but we were still looking up to you with a puppy face. You decided to make a government with Congress! So what! You had a good mandate and it was only external support and you were the man of ethics and principals. We still argued; and that is when we passed our final tests to earn the fame of AAPtards. The Inglorious AAPtards!

You displayed one after another act of total anarchy. At times, your comments challenged Rahul Gandhi and Digvijay Singh. And as each day passed, a few of us blind followers sensed a tinge of uneasiness in whatever you were doing. As the Chief Minister, you and your party ridiculed democracy, staged dharnas, ate wada pao and slept on floor. You challenged everything and everyone. You denied a flat and then you accepted a flat. We asked ourselves, what the hell is he doing?

You realized the days of worship are soon going to be over.. the tussle of drawing curtains started, but how to venture out while also saving face. So, you launched the Lokpal bill, which you knew cannot get passed in the present settings. And as planned, you got that respectful reason to quit. Quit, something that you have been an expert in doing. You study engineering, which you quit to become a civil servant. You became a civil servant and you quit your service to become a social activist. You become a social activist and quit a movement to become politician. You become a Chief Minister, and you quit it to become the Prime Minister. Sky is the Limit, isn’t it? Boss, you are one hell of a lucky dude. Life does not give so many chances to everybody. We people when quit, spend a good share of our lifetime compensating for it. But then, you have well-settled parents and an assistant commissioner as wife, you can afford to quit.

This time when you had quit, you became a jolly good politician. So good and true that it now reflects on your face. How do you manage to sleep at night? Did anyone tell you that every tissue of your face pours shamelessness?

You think people love you, when they support you and argue for you – no, you have done nothing to earn that kind of respect. They argue for the idea you talked about, a possibility that politics could have clean people, a feeling that we must not stop trying. You were nobody, you are nobody. The person in your skin is a man, more dangerous than most politicians, who is selling us his desires at the cost of our dreams, hopes, and trust. Heard of wolf in sheep’s clothing?? You must have!

Today, when I saw you venting venom against Modi, I felt sorry for having trusted somebody so miniscule in stature, who could not keep himself untainted even for short while. And your comrades, gosh! Did you pick them up from sheep-herd too, since they know nothing about a crucial aspect of leadership – the art of words! Not even your celebrity poet, who won hearts (of some ever fantasizing, desperate young boys) with his cheap quadruplets; and who sounds crasser than an illiterate fool.

Today, I hate you, because you are a terrible person to be chosen as somebody’s leader! You do not respect your words, and you cannot show us any path to your claimed corruption-free India. How will you, being of such corrupt will power and integrity, do anything constructive and worthwhile, when your entire way to glory has been through protests, opposition, and destruction?

There are still lakhs of people, who believe in your dream – just as I had believed once. Different people need different doses to cure the same disease. While thriving on their over-optimism, you are conveniently building your gang of power hungry sharks, who have found the easiest way to enter politics through our belief on your display of hopes.

I hate every time you talk or claim to be that chosen one. I hate you every time your party members try to prove themselves better than anybody. I hate you for not finding it necessary to build any credibility before vouching for the most important job in the country. I hate you for your audacity to openly mock the largest democracy in the world. I hate you because you take pride in your declarations that you are here to not let a stable government come; because that will come in 2017 with you and your partymen winning the mandate. I hate you for being just the one, you asked us to hate. I hate you for forgetting all your loud ethics and values and just keep ranting about what a menace Modi is.

Modi is still better than you. He is whatever he is. You want him or you do not want him, he has a clear image for both people – but who are you?

You started against corruption, now only person you are against is Modi. Is he the most corrupt person on the face of this earth? Are we all fools?

In few days, people of Varanasi will be making their choice. My wish is AAPki zamanat bhi jabt ho jaye!! Sir, you think with what you are doing, you are going to be the Prime Minister of this country? If this country was so easy to be gulped down, many lalloos, mulayams, and behen jis would have already done that. They would have not left it for a kanjad like you to come and devour us. Despite them, we thrived and despite you, we'll thrive.